1 00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,570 ♪ ♪ 2 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,129 T'LYN: Hmm. Will someone please explain 3 00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:31,030 why we are mutilating gourds? 4 00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,666 It's an ancient Earth tradition for a holiday called Halloween. 5 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,301 Jack-o'-lanterns were supposed to keep demons 6 00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:36,603 from entering your home. 7 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,371 Huh. I thought they were just spooky and fun. 8 00:00:38,538 --> 00:00:41,241 Is it sad that Tendi knows more of our history than we do? 9 00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:42,709 Oh, yeah. 10 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,011 -Check it out. -BOIMLER: Oh, look at 11 00:00:45,178 --> 00:00:46,813 -the little Cerritos. -Aw, that's so cute. -Commendable accuracy. 12 00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:49,516 Hey, guys. Oh, nice, I didn't miss the pumpkin party. 13 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:51,551 -Whoa, what's with all the paint? -Away mission. 14 00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:54,220 We were supposed to study a calcified forest on Malman 5, 15 00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:57,057 -but then we got trapped in a painting. -What? No way. 16 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,359 Yeah, some local was using hologram tech to take pictures 17 00:00:59,492 --> 00:01:01,294 of the landscape and accidentally sucked us in. 18 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,063 It turned into a whole, big epic escape. 19 00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:04,631 I got to ride a rainbow. 20 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:07,300 Oh, man, I've always wanted to get stuck in a painting. 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,635 Anything happen while I was gone? 22 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,437 Nope. Same old, same old. 23 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,938 (short chuckle) Classic Cerritos. 24 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,640 You know, on other ships, it's the command crew 25 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,209 that gets into trouble, not, like, random lower deckers. 26 00:01:16,342 --> 00:01:18,178 That's okay. I like our commanders. 27 00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:20,046 I mean, so do I, but they're no Janeway, 28 00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,748 Kirk or Sisko, you know? 29 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,883 Yeah, our guys mostly spend their time doing paperwork 30 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,019 instead of carving V'ger. 31 00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,387 -TENDI: Oh. -BOIMLER: Whoa. 32 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,088 "The Creator must join with V'ger." 33 00:01:29,222 --> 00:01:31,825 Boimler, let's, uh, let's go replicate some more snacks. 34 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,160 All right, remember to stay out of sight 35 00:01:34,294 --> 00:01:36,262 or you're gonna get pulled into some boring bridge crew meeting. 36 00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,897 We deserve a day off. 37 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,299 You know, it's kind of funny, 38 00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,000 we're sort of the stars of the show around here. 39 00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:43,269 The commanders seem to just fade into the background. 40 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,873 Yep, without us lower deckers, there'd be nothing to see. 41 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,842 -Oh, crap! -STEVENS: (chuckles) We've got another 42 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,544 full schedule on the old to-do list, Captain. 43 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:54,514 -I never get a day off, do I? -Not with me around. 44 00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:57,851 Now, remember, I need a couple of hours for myself tonight. 45 00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,086 Well, we better hurry, then. Your schedule's pretty full. 46 00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:02,589 Never a dull moment when you're in command. 47 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,725 Nothing would ever happen around here 48 00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,495 without the bridge crew. 49 00:02:10,663 --> 00:02:12,799 ♪ ♪ 50 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,317 ♪ ♪ 51 00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,587 ♪ ♪ 52 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:22,068 ♪ ♪ 53 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:26,105 The Zerta pathogen has been contained to Deck Four. 54 00:03:26,205 --> 00:03:27,640 Officer Barnes has almost recovered 55 00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:29,242 from her transformation. 56 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:32,645 Oh, yes, the virus that caused her DNA to... what was it? 57 00:03:32,779 --> 00:03:34,547 Evolve? Devolve? 58 00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,583 Both. She was a futuristic cavewoman 59 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,519 who could read minds but was also afraid of open flame. 60 00:03:39,652 --> 00:03:41,521 How did you get her to stop attacking people? 61 00:03:41,654 --> 00:03:43,356 Eh, thought about a candle. 62 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:46,025 That reminds me, Dr. T'Ana, we've had some complaints 63 00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,194 -about your pain management. -Who squealed? 64 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:51,230 Just, please, brush up on your anesthetics. 65 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:52,398 Security. 66 00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,133 Mosaro, when the lake was smooth. 67 00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:56,135 Starfleet Command reports increased chatter 68 00:03:56,235 --> 00:03:57,303 from the Clickets. 69 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,972 Nothing that should affect us. 70 00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,007 -The who? -They're the insectoid species 71 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,375 that hate being complimented. 72 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:03,876 Wonder what they're mad about now. 73 00:04:04,043 --> 00:04:05,979 Maybe someone gave them a birthday present. 74 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:08,314 (laughing) 75 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:11,551 Just keep me updated. Mr. Shaxs? 76 00:04:11,684 --> 00:04:13,620 (muffled): Are you feeling okay? 77 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,389 -Mr. Shaxs, what-what is going on over there? -Uh... 78 00:04:16,522 --> 00:04:17,590 (hissing) 79 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,092 -(gasps) -FREEMAN (clear): Mr. Shaxs, 80 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,693 you're looking a little out of sorts. 81 00:04:20,793 --> 00:04:22,895 Requesting a day off, uh, effective immediately. 82 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:25,665 -Okay. Granted. -(groans) 83 00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,900 (panting) 84 00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:29,535 We still can't figure out 85 00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,205 what's got these buhgoon creatures all riled up. 86 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:34,741 Hopefully the Starfleet ecologist can sort it out. 87 00:04:34,874 --> 00:04:36,342 Make sure he gets whatever he needs. 88 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,778 I don't want those things defecating all over the hull. 89 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,013 Engineering? 90 00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,347 My team refreshed all the Cordry rocks 91 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,915 in the ceiling panels on the bridge. 92 00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,417 Ugh, hate those things. They always fall out 93 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,219 and hit me on the head when we take damage. 94 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:49,555 Well, their non-centrosymmetry disrupts the charge leptons 95 00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,591 in the isolinear pathways of the main deflector, 96 00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:54,827 -which then causes... -I trust you have it in hand. 97 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,396 If there's nothing else... 98 00:04:56,529 --> 00:04:57,630 Bring it in, everyone. 99 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,365 ALL: Strong and brave, wise and true, 100 00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:02,335 -that's what makes us Cerritos crew! -Yeah. 101 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:03,770 What's up next? 102 00:05:03,936 --> 00:05:05,772 Ensign Barnes' sousaphone recital. 103 00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:09,075 She hasn't mastered the basics, but she's gotten very loud. 104 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,778 Didn't Barnes just evolve/devolve into a cavewoman? 105 00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:14,514 Apparently, it didn't affect her sousaphone blowing. 106 00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,516 Great. 107 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,218 RANSOM: First officer's log. 108 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,087 When a specialist visits the ship, 109 00:05:21,187 --> 00:05:25,191 I like to make sure they feel like they have our full support. 110 00:05:25,324 --> 00:05:26,592 Right this way, Professor. 111 00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,061 My team's working on getting a space cow 112 00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,495 for you to check out. 113 00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:31,898 The buhgoon are a rare, endangered extremophile, 114 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,399 not cows. 115 00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,401 I've never been able to study one up close before. 116 00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:37,637 Well, they look like cows to me. 117 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,272 -MOXY: What's taking you guys so long? -(overlapping chatter) 118 00:05:39,405 --> 00:05:41,641 -Come on. -Get in here, you friggin' thing. 119 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:43,643 It can't hear you, it's in space. 120 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:45,745 -(groans) -KARAVITUS: Okay, genius, you tell me how to get it in there. 121 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:48,147 What do you think I'm doing over here with the tractor beam? 122 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,149 RANSOM: While scientists can be high-maintenance, 123 00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,618 it's usually getting our lower decks to work with each other 124 00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:53,753 that can be the tricky part. 125 00:05:53,886 --> 00:05:54,921 Lock it down, ensigns. 126 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,322 Maybe a little less arguing 127 00:05:56,456 --> 00:05:58,291 and you'd have one of those buhgoon in here. 128 00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,259 We're trying to get one, but Ensign Friendly 129 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,627 doesn't want to hurt their feelings. 130 00:06:01,761 --> 00:06:03,463 Hey, you take that back! I'm not friendly! 131 00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:05,198 -Do you hear yourself? -MOXY: Uh-oh, it worked too well. 132 00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:07,166 We got an asteroid incoming. Look out! 133 00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:08,968 Aah! (grunts) 134 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,870 (low growl) 135 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:14,273 Ha. Us Delta Shifters know how to take care of a problem. 136 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,908 Hey, you almost killed me. 137 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,277 Then why don't you almost complain about it? 138 00:06:18,377 --> 00:06:19,779 (wails) 139 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:21,180 Ugh, what the heck? 140 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,448 A natural cloaking ability. 141 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,016 Ha, they use their hide to hide. 142 00:06:24,150 --> 00:06:26,018 -(shouts) -Look out! -Somebody grab it. 143 00:06:26,152 --> 00:06:27,687 What do you mean, grab it? It's the size of a shuttle. 144 00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:29,622 -Don't you talk to me like that. -I never want to work 145 00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,758 -with you again. -Aah! It rolled on my foot. 146 00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,626 -CASTRO: What's wrong with you? -(whistles) 147 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,696 This reminds me of a story. 148 00:06:36,863 --> 00:06:38,331 Back a few hundred stardates ago, 149 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:41,300 there was another commander who could bench 305. 150 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:44,203 Okay? Which meant I had to do something to impress her... 151 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,539 ...Kimolu and Matt said I couldn't beat Big Wave Tommy 152 00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:48,207 because he was king of the beach. 153 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:49,976 -(groans) -It took a lot of gnar shredding, 154 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,678 but once you get your water feet, you are locked in. 155 00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,213 So, a week before the competition, 156 00:06:54,347 --> 00:06:56,115 -I started eating a lot of junga fruit. -(groans) 157 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,551 SHAXS: Chief security officer, personal log. 158 00:06:58,651 --> 00:07:02,355 The visions are happening again, more potent than ever before. 159 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,690 Aah! 160 00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,093 I don't care how many times 161 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,594 you come back to haunt me. 162 00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:10,563 I'll never let you win. 163 00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:13,800 (laughs) You can't fight me, 164 00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:17,069 because I am you, Papa Bear. 165 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:21,340 No. You're a freaky little monster that lives in my brain. 166 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,444 Oh, am I? 167 00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:28,314 (gasps, shouts) 168 00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:33,019 The Battle of Tempasa? 169 00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,387 -(gasps) -(device beeping) 170 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,522 The Cardassians put a bomb in the artifact. 171 00:07:36,656 --> 00:07:39,625 Everyone, get down! Aah! 172 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:42,028 (shouts, pants) 173 00:07:42,161 --> 00:07:44,797 As time passes, I grow stronger, 174 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:48,334 while you get older and fade away. 175 00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:50,203 I'll kill you! I'll... 176 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:51,671 (shouts) 177 00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:56,108 To control you, I have to control myself. 178 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,377 That's stupid. Hit me! 179 00:07:58,511 --> 00:07:59,679 (inhales) 180 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,147 (meditative humming) 181 00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:04,984 Pathetic. Humming won't hurt me. 182 00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,686 But I will! 183 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,622 BILLUPS: Chief engineer's log. 184 00:08:09,755 --> 00:08:10,957 I had a bagel for breakfast, 185 00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:12,325 and it gave me a tummy ache, 186 00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:13,926 but I'm feeling better. 187 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,628 Anyway, uh, nothing engineering-wise to report. 188 00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,796 Okay, bye. 189 00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,698 Commander, are you busy? 190 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:20,600 Just monitoring plasma flow. What's up, Ensign? 191 00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,435 I've got a nonfunctional indicator light 192 00:08:22,535 --> 00:08:23,836 behind panel 785. 193 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:25,238 You mind if I go ahead and make the repair? 194 00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,672 Well, sounds simple enough. 195 00:08:29,842 --> 00:08:31,244 Uh, sir? 196 00:08:31,377 --> 00:08:32,511 (gasps) 197 00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:34,180 Oh, no. 198 00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:36,515 Everyone, out of here now! 199 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:37,850 What is it? 200 00:08:37,984 --> 00:08:39,352 Retrofitted plasma canisters. 201 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:40,553 Help me pull off the panels. 202 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,088 Careful, they're gonna be hot. 203 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:43,990 MEREDITH: Retrofitted? 204 00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,124 BILLUPS: Sometimes I have to get 205 00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:46,459 a little creative with repairs. 206 00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,027 I guess I never bothered to replace 'em. 207 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:49,328 Are they dangerous? 208 00:08:49,428 --> 00:08:50,730 They're chock-full of energized plasma. 209 00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,465 We have to disable their power source 210 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:55,134 or an overload could cascade back to the warp core. Whoo! 211 00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:57,436 -(laughs) -Are you sure you can't do this on your own? 212 00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,138 You're the one who spotted the bulb. 213 00:08:59,238 --> 00:09:00,539 It's a good learning experience. 214 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,809 (whimpers) Even if I die? 215 00:09:03,943 --> 00:09:05,811 Everybody dies, but it's the engineers 216 00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:08,014 who really get to live. 217 00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,118 T'ANA: Chief medical officer's (bleep) log. 218 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,853 I should be focusing on my work, 219 00:09:13,953 --> 00:09:16,255 but I got some constructive criticism in the staff briefing 220 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,890 that's got me in a (bleep) mood. 221 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:19,625 I refilled the hyposprays. 222 00:09:19,759 --> 00:09:21,561 We're good to go next time some virus 223 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:23,796 makes everyone sing or whatever. 224 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,331 Shut up and leave me alone! 225 00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:28,801 Ho-ho, someone woke up on the nasty side of the bed today. 226 00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:30,436 Spare me your (bleep), Westlake. 227 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,538 Nobody else is going to put up with you, honey. 228 00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,675 Apparently some of the crew don't like my pain management. 229 00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:36,943 Uh, because you don't? 230 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,577 Manage pain, I mean. 231 00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:40,947 Sick people come in, healthy people go out. 232 00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:42,148 That should be enough. 233 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,383 You swore an oath to do no harm. 234 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,585 Someone's not happy, 235 00:09:45,718 --> 00:09:47,119 they can point to the pain chart. 236 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:49,355 Just because you have a high pain tolerance 237 00:09:49,455 --> 00:09:51,290 doesn't mean anyone else does. 238 00:09:51,457 --> 00:09:53,092 Okay, yeah. I see what you're saying. 239 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:54,760 Good. I'll restock the anesth... 240 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,362 We have to update the pain chart. 241 00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,966 (meows) 242 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:01,100 What are you doing? 243 00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,234 You're gonna (bleep) me up 244 00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,536 so I can feel some pain. 245 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:04,937 No, this is stupid. 246 00:10:05,071 --> 00:10:06,105 It was your idea. 247 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,773 Now shut up and rearrange my guts. 248 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,208 (sighs) 249 00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:12,278 Come on! Turn up the (bleep) (bleep)! 250 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,847 Oh, (bleep) yes! 251 00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:17,149 (sousaphone playing) 252 00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,023 (humming along with music) 253 00:10:25,925 --> 00:10:27,727 Oh, just beautiful. 254 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,830 Hardly affected by your protruding brow. 255 00:10:33,232 --> 00:10:35,835 (grunting) 256 00:10:37,503 --> 00:10:39,572 ENSIGN: When my reproductive jelly started emulsifying, 257 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,073 my first thought was, 258 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:43,342 "I hope the captain attends my fertility event." 259 00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,679 I honestly didn't even know you weren't human. 260 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:48,481 ENSIGN: I get that all the time. 261 00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:49,915 (Stevens chuckles) 262 00:10:50,049 --> 00:10:51,851 Ooh, here we go! 263 00:10:53,252 --> 00:10:54,687 I've hit rock bottom. 264 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:55,788 My friends had all discovered 265 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:57,623 what I was doing on the holodeck. 266 00:10:57,757 --> 00:11:00,793 They shunned me. I felt stuck out of phase, 267 00:11:00,926 --> 00:11:03,496 like Geordi and Ro, wandering... 268 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,131 alone. 269 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:07,199 Stirring stuff, Mr. Bingston. 270 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,734 I wish I could stay... 271 00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,870 Act Seven: the Oberth year. 272 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:13,105 The Manticore was known as one of the fleet's 273 00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:14,807 -"fun" ships. -(snoring) 274 00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,342 -But it's hard to have fun... -(sputters) I'm here! (laughs) 275 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,477 ...when you go from being the star of the show 276 00:11:18,577 --> 00:11:20,513 to a two-bit player... 277 00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:22,782 ♪ ♪ 278 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,720 (buhgoon chitters) 279 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,456 (alien growls) 280 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,827 -(crew arguing, shouting) -RANSOM: First officer's log, supplemental. 281 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,595 What should have been a pretty straightforward 282 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:38,531 creature study has gone a little sideways. 283 00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,366 We got two more incoming. 284 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,135 -Aah! Damn it. -Ransom roll! Aah! 285 00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,171 -Watch out for the shuttles! -You let it go right past you! 286 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:47,840 -I can't grab what I can't see. -Me? You're dumber than Fletcher. 287 00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:51,210 (panting) Great idea pulling a rock in here. 288 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:52,812 Now we can't keep 'em away. 289 00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:53,913 What are you talking about, bro? 290 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,414 You had the same idea. 291 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,550 I can't get a scan if you don't calm them down. 292 00:11:57,683 --> 00:11:59,185 What does it look like I'm doing? 293 00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,853 RANSOM: Usually my expert guidance 294 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,289 cuts through any crew conflict, 295 00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,289 but, occasionally, 296 00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:06,492 I have to resort to plan B. 297 00:12:06,592 --> 00:12:08,060 (whistles) 298 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:09,762 Still can't get it together, huh? 299 00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:11,730 Gather round, your commander is here 300 00:12:11,864 --> 00:12:13,432 and I have a plan. 301 00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,134 (grunts) On one hand, 302 00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:16,735 you have these rowdy space cows. 303 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,003 Buhgoon. 304 00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:19,572 And on the other, they're turning invisible 305 00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:20,973 and knocking everyone over. 306 00:12:21,107 --> 00:12:22,675 Oh, yeah. That's the stuff. 307 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,376 How is this supposed to help? 308 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,412 You got to believe in the power of exercise. 309 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,614 Is he just working out? 310 00:12:28,781 --> 00:12:30,382 Come on, let's try to corner one. 311 00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,585 Physical fitness clears the mind. 312 00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:34,487 Oh, yeah! 313 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,255 ♪ ♪ 314 00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:38,491 Those tubes were connected to a half-assed coil relay. 315 00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:40,926 I must have been distracted. Maybe my mom was visiting? 316 00:12:41,060 --> 00:12:42,561 So, we got to turn that off, too? 317 00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:44,463 Yeah, but I got it used from some Bynars, 318 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,065 so it activates an AI defense golem 319 00:12:46,165 --> 00:12:47,032 to prevent tampering. 320 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,534 What's an AI defense golem? 321 00:12:48,634 --> 00:12:50,936 Oh, it's an artificial construct that... Whoa! 322 00:12:51,070 --> 00:12:53,372 -Aah! -Meredith, it's up to you! 323 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:54,540 What do I do? 324 00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:56,108 (Billups shouts) 325 00:12:56,242 --> 00:12:58,811 Force a reboot by holding down its power button 326 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,312 while telling a sad story 327 00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:02,581 from your childhood that demonstrates human emotion. 328 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,116 Uh, one time, when I was a kid, 329 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:06,152 my dad took me to the beach and we saw a dead fish. 330 00:13:06,318 --> 00:13:07,620 That's not sad enough! 331 00:13:07,753 --> 00:13:08,954 Aw, for (bleep) sake, 332 00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:10,222 I haven't been overwhelmed with pain yet. 333 00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:11,657 We need to up the ante! 334 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,626 But this is used to slice atoms. 335 00:13:13,759 --> 00:13:14,960 Yeah, mother(bleep), just 336 00:13:15,094 --> 00:13:17,663 zap me with that mother(bleep) thing! 337 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,798 (cackles) That's the stuff! 338 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:21,634 (whoops, meows) 339 00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,335 (both grunting) 340 00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,410 You can snap my neck, 341 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:34,914 but what will you do against all your victims? 342 00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,516 All the Cardassian warriors 343 00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:39,852 getting their revenge. 344 00:13:40,686 --> 00:13:42,054 They weren't warriors. 345 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,190 They were occupiers! 346 00:13:44,356 --> 00:13:46,525 (grunting) 347 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,395 FEDEROV: That is literally the wrong way to do that. 348 00:13:49,528 --> 00:13:52,164 KARAVITUS: Blah, blah, blah. Who do you think you are-- Picard? 349 00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:54,833 (grunts, stammers) 350 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:57,002 (Ransom grunting) 351 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,504 Oh, yeah. 352 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,173 (Zurkel groaning) 353 00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:04,510 Professor, is your research going as planned? 354 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,314 -(hisses) -Oh, your face fell off. 355 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:09,715 Do you need medical assistance? 356 00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,817 Silence, fool! (grunts) 357 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:13,619 You're not from Starfleet. 358 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,054 That's right. 359 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:24,129 (roars) 360 00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:25,898 You'll never take the Cerritos. 361 00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,033 We don't want your puny ship, 362 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,002 -we want the buhgoon. -Why? 363 00:14:30,102 --> 00:14:32,538 To harvest their cloaking organs 364 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,607 and maybe eat what's left, 365 00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:36,308 depending on texture and flavor. 366 00:14:36,408 --> 00:14:38,544 You're why they've been so agitated. 367 00:14:38,677 --> 00:14:39,578 Aah! 368 00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,213 -(grunts) -Your plan can't be 369 00:14:41,347 --> 00:14:42,715 to take control on your own. 370 00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:43,949 Of course not, 371 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:45,384 which is why my infiltrators 372 00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:47,886 are targeting your senior officers! 373 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:50,289 (snoring) 374 00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:52,558 He worked out so much he had to take a nap? 375 00:14:52,691 --> 00:14:55,327 You are the worst commander I've ever had in my life. 376 00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,563 -Wake up! -Oh! 377 00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:00,299 (shuddering) 378 00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,970 (meditative humming) 379 00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,611 ZURKEL: You and your pathetic crew 380 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,513 are no match for my infiltrators. 381 00:15:14,613 --> 00:15:16,949 Everyone ignores the Clickets, 382 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:19,318 but once we have the power to cloak our ships, 383 00:15:19,451 --> 00:15:21,186 we'll spread all over the quadrant! 384 00:15:21,287 --> 00:15:23,756 Clickets, Clickets. Why does that ring a bell? 385 00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:25,224 Ring a bel... See?! 386 00:15:25,324 --> 00:15:26,458 You don't even know us. 387 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,927 And we've faced off before. 388 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,461 -We have? -(hisses) 389 00:15:30,162 --> 00:15:31,897 (shouts) 390 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:33,732 Ah. Thanks, Ensign. 391 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,634 Thank you for coming to my recital. 392 00:15:35,801 --> 00:15:36,635 Aah! 393 00:15:36,802 --> 00:15:38,370 Sorry, I thought I saw some fire. 394 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:41,507 On your feet, Stevens. We have invaders to repel. 395 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:42,641 (grunts softly) 396 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,077 But that's not on the schedule. 397 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,313 I'm sorry, sir. 398 00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,415 I never should have messed with that light. 399 00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:50,950 (coughs) 400 00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,284 If you hadn't, 401 00:15:52,451 --> 00:15:53,752 we wouldn't have found all that stuff to fix. 402 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,287 You got to let me get you out of there. 403 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:56,488 No. 404 00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,157 You'd let all the coolant out. 405 00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,358 It's okay. 406 00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:01,327 This is how all engineers want to go. 407 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:03,429 At work, in a tube. 408 00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,997 I can't let that happen. 409 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:09,601 -(yells) -What are you doing? 410 00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:10,970 That axe is for emergencies only. 411 00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:13,138 What's your definition of an emergency? 412 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:15,140 (grunts) We're in this together, sir. 413 00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,443 Fine, then hurry. (grunts) 414 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,645 We have to decouple the deuterium conduits 415 00:16:19,778 --> 00:16:21,146 before the thermal blankets push the valve blocks 416 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:22,481 into the adjustment coils. 417 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:24,116 And I'll deactivate the magnetic constrictors 418 00:16:24,216 --> 00:16:26,018 while you cycle the reactor conduits. 419 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,188 FEDEROV: Sir, can we get 420 00:16:29,321 --> 00:16:30,356 some guidance on the... Whoa! 421 00:16:30,522 --> 00:16:32,091 -What the hell? -Die, Starfleet! 422 00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:34,493 -Deltas, take the left. -On it. 423 00:16:34,626 --> 00:16:36,261 (grunting) 424 00:16:42,634 --> 00:16:45,137 -(cheering) -We did it! 425 00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:48,674 Listen, us Beta shifters don't like you Delta shifters 426 00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,242 for all sorts of reasons. 427 00:16:50,376 --> 00:16:51,610 Right back at you. 428 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,613 But we can at least agree that Ransom's the worst. 429 00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,648 -Totally. He sucks. -Big-time. 430 00:16:56,782 --> 00:16:58,684 I think he likes that we don't get along. 431 00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:00,819 It's like some weird power trip. 432 00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,354 How about we put aside our differences 433 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,890 and work together to get these buhgoon under control 434 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:06,592 -just to spite him? -Yes. 435 00:17:06,725 --> 00:17:08,127 -Oh, I'm in. -Let's do it. 436 00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:10,062 -(snoring continues) -MOXY: Shh, shh. 437 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:11,530 (whispering): Over here, over here. 438 00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:13,599 -Shh. -FEDEROV: Get over here, big guy. 439 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,469 Damn it, we need to get to the bridge. 440 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:19,138 (hissing) 441 00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:21,407 (growling) 442 00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:28,414 (chuckles) I'm just glad you don't play the recorder. 443 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:29,648 (exclaims) 444 00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:30,983 One more step and you'll feel pain 445 00:17:31,083 --> 00:17:32,651 like you've never felt before. 446 00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,753 (angry meowing) 447 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,089 (grunts) 448 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,557 That was set to kill. 449 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,492 So am I! 450 00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,461 -(meowing viciously) -(Clicket groaning) 451 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,399 (meowing) 452 00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:50,269 (groaning) 453 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:52,438 And scene. 454 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,573 (meditative humming) 455 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,411 (grunting) 456 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,715 Die, Starfleet! 457 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:07,886 (groaning) 458 00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:12,157 (grunting) 459 00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,093 (growls) 460 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,096 -Put me down. -(yells) 461 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,966 Welcome to the bear pack. 462 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,668 -(crunches) -(yells) 463 00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:30,142 (Clicket chittering) 464 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,846 Oh. Oh, buddy, sorry about that. 465 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:39,251 My infiltrators have taken over 466 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:39,251 every deck, Captain. 467 00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,920 You have no power over my warriors. 468 00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,489 The Clickets. 469 00:18:44,556 --> 00:18:46,191 You're right, I don't. 470 00:18:46,325 --> 00:18:50,596 I guess I have to compliment you on a successful invasion. 471 00:18:50,729 --> 00:18:52,464 (gasps) What did you say? 472 00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:53,765 You're amazing at subterfuge. 473 00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,801 -(groaning) -Stop. 474 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,135 What's happening? 475 00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:58,670 You see? This is why you pay attention 476 00:18:58,837 --> 00:19:00,072 in the morning briefing. 477 00:19:00,205 --> 00:19:02,641 Clickets can't stand being complimented. 478 00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:05,677 (pained groan) Your kind words burn me. 479 00:19:05,844 --> 00:19:07,145 It's not my fault your species evolved 480 00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:09,882 a fight-or-flight response to being praised. 481 00:19:10,015 --> 00:19:11,116 I'll kill you. 482 00:19:11,216 --> 00:19:12,985 -You're handsome. -(groaning) 483 00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,188 (over P.A.): You've got amazing breath. I love your work. 484 00:19:16,355 --> 00:19:18,257 I'm impressed with your whole vibe. 485 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,759 -(groans) -At the end of the day, you're a captain doing his best 486 00:19:20,859 --> 00:19:24,396 to watch out for his crew, and I respect that. 487 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:29,668 Aah! Emergency transport. Everyone out of there now. 488 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,506 ♪ ♪ 489 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:40,045 (groans) What a bunch of weirdos. 490 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:45,851 There you go. 491 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:46,852 Go home, big guy. 492 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,854 (buhgoon snorts) 493 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,057 These things aren't so bad once they calm down. 494 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,792 You're not so bad yourself. 495 00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:55,494 Sorry for being such a hard-ass earlier. 496 00:19:55,594 --> 00:19:57,529 I guess nothing brings people together 497 00:19:57,663 --> 00:19:58,897 like a mutual enemy. 498 00:19:59,064 --> 00:20:01,133 I'm talking about Ransom, not the invaders. 499 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,769 -You guys want to hit the bar? -Uh, yes. 500 00:20:07,239 --> 00:20:08,407 (doors whoosh open) 501 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,243 (chuckles) Works every time. 502 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:12,544 First officer's log. 503 00:20:12,711 --> 00:20:15,681 As usual, my grasp of the lower-decker mind 504 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:17,716 has proven to... Oh, uh... (clears throat) 505 00:20:17,849 --> 00:20:19,084 Carry on, Ensign. 506 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,253 I know you just pretend to be an idiot 507 00:20:21,386 --> 00:20:22,821 to trick us into getting along. 508 00:20:22,921 --> 00:20:24,957 -Are you gonna tell anyone? -No. 509 00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,158 I think it's cute. 510 00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,759 Plus everyone thinks you're a doofus. 511 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:29,094 Nobody would believe me. 512 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:31,897 'Cause I'm just that good at the job. 513 00:20:35,434 --> 00:20:38,337 It was a scary, weird day, 514 00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,872 but it really was a good learning experience. 515 00:20:41,006 --> 00:20:42,074 Thanks, Andarithio. 516 00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,709 Whoa, gonna stop you right there. 517 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:45,744 First names only when we're on the brink of death. 518 00:20:45,911 --> 00:20:47,145 Yes, sir. 519 00:20:47,279 --> 00:20:49,615 I'll get to dismantling that electronic face. 520 00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:52,284 -Commander Billups, are you busy? -What's up, Cadet? 521 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,920 I found a burned-out indicator light above the door. 522 00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,622 Could you help me with the repair? 523 00:20:57,522 --> 00:20:59,258 Let's do this. 524 00:21:00,325 --> 00:21:01,793 So, what's next on the schedule? 525 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,529 -Nothing, you're all good. -Come on, Stevens. 526 00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,198 Those Clickets had to put us behind. 527 00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:08,934 See? Look, there's a meeting in Holodeck Three. 528 00:21:09,034 --> 00:21:11,136 But you said you needed some time off. 529 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:14,072 Yeah, it's my anniversary today. 530 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,475 I was gonna try to have a nice long call 531 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,777 -with Admiral Freeman. -You still should. 532 00:21:18,910 --> 00:21:21,913 I know little meetings with the crew seem inconsequential, 533 00:21:22,047 --> 00:21:24,850 but they're the most important part of being a captain. 534 00:21:24,983 --> 00:21:26,385 The admiral will understand. 535 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,054 Zo? 536 00:21:29,187 --> 00:21:30,288 -Carol? -Wha...? 537 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:31,790 What are the odds of seeing you here? 538 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:33,592 -How did you...? -Mm. 539 00:21:33,692 --> 00:21:35,360 Mr. Stevens reached out a month ago, 540 00:21:35,494 --> 00:21:38,530 said he made sure to put some time on your schedule 541 00:21:38,697 --> 00:21:41,033 so I could surprise you with a romantic dinner. 542 00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,434 Oh, honey. 543 00:21:42,534 --> 00:21:44,670 I can't believe you came all the way out here from Earth. 544 00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:47,306 Happy anniversary. How was your day? 545 00:21:47,439 --> 00:21:49,374 Alien invaders, chaos in engineering, 546 00:21:49,508 --> 00:21:51,777 Shaxs fighting demons, you know, just the usual. 547 00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:54,513 Hmm. Glad to hear you had it easy. 548 00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:02,788 Mr. Shaxs, you made a quick exit from the morning meeting. 549 00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:06,525 Oh, just my usual fight with the astral projection 550 00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,261 of my unresolved rage from the occupation. 551 00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:11,530 Did you know therapy can armor you 552 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,366 with even more weapons for your metaphysical battles? 553 00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:16,234 -When can we start?! -Ow! 554 00:22:16,368 --> 00:22:18,203 (bleep), that chowder's hot. 555 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:22,507 Okay, fine, I get it. We can stock up on pain meds. 556 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,910 -That's a good kitty. -Ah, shut up. 557 00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:26,578 (purrs) 558 00:22:27,746 --> 00:22:29,848 Ah, bar sweet bar. 559 00:22:29,981 --> 00:22:33,251 Uh, I think I just heard someone say they fended off invaders. 560 00:22:33,418 --> 00:22:34,820 Did we miss something? 561 00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:37,255 No way. Nothing ever happens if we're not involved. 562 00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:39,758 (sousaphone blowing) 563 00:22:39,925 --> 00:22:42,194 Perhaps our commanders are the leads of their own stories 564 00:22:42,327 --> 00:22:43,729 when we are not observing them. 565 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,365 (scoffs) No way. We're the spice and glitter around here. 566 00:22:46,465 --> 00:22:49,067 Is it that hard to believe they do interesting stuff, too? 567 00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:52,003 Yes. That's my whole worldview. Stop trying to shake it. 568 00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:53,538 I saw your dad in the hall. 569 00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:55,040 Yeah, right. That's impossible. 570 00:22:55,140 --> 00:22:56,908 I saw him, too. He was kissing your mom. 571 00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,210 Stop making stuff up. 572 00:22:58,343 --> 00:22:59,945 I saw Admiral Freeman and the captain 573 00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:01,913 -getting trapped in a painting. -What? No way. Really? 574 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:03,248 T'LYN: No. 575 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,583 I have made a joke at your expense. 576 00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:05,584 Boom. 577 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,686 (all laughing) 578 00:23:07,819 --> 00:23:12,224 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 579 00:24:03,408 --> 00:24:05,110 (man imitates weapons firing) 580 00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:08,079 Chirp.